Are you willingly giving up your energy to others?
Imagine you get an email invite to a surprise birthday party for a co-worker, you’re about to RSVP because, well, you feel obligated because everyone else in the office seems to be going. Stop and think before you respond. Is this something you have time for? Do you even want to go? Will it add value to your day?
Whether it be a request from a friend or an invitation to coffee - if what you are being asked to do is taking energy away from you and doesn’t fuel you, it’s time to say no.
If you cannot immediately see value in time spent doing whatever it may be, it’s time to stop being a people-pleaser and time to show up for yourself.
When you say no to something that isn’t adding value you leave space to say yes to something else that will fill you.
This two-letter word can be extremely powerful, and it can also ease your stress, bring joy back into your life and be a form of self-care.
It happens all too often, we say yes to the wrong things for the wrong reasons. We must remember this, saying no is not selfish.
As children we’re raised thinking there’s a negative connotation wrapped around the word no. When our parents would say no it was usually something, we didn’t want to hear which typically resulted in a negative reaction. On the other hand, if we said no to our parents that typically resulted in some form of punishment. (Of course, not in every case.)
As an adult, it is important to protect your yes, set boundaries and value yourself and time enough where saying no becomes simply empowering. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup.
A good way to start is by changing your definition of the word no. When responding with a no you are not saying “beat it, I’m too busy or too important”.
You are simply saying, no I value myself, my time and my well-being enough that I am not going to fill my day with anything that isn’t adding value to my life.
Once you change your definition of the word no, you’ll find it much easier to respond to those invitations with clarity and confidence.
It’s time to get clear on what things (or people) in your life are adding value versus taking energy away.
It’s a good exercise to write down the things you want more or less of in your life. Writing down what you want more of in your life helps your attract that into your life.